Just Off Center

One of the things that have been occupying so much of my time and preventing me from doing any blogging lately is that I’ve been training a new hire here at my job. This is the fourth new hire I’ve trained to be my replacement before I move on. This one will be replacing me here in Gilbert, AZ so that I can be freed up to implement our contract in Rochester, NY. Rochester… in winter. I’m a dead man.

Anyway, apart from the fact that these guys tend to shadow me so that I can’t have any completely non-work related fun, this one is pretty decent… so far. His name is Brent. He’s my age, and just a little bit less advanced professionally. He’s just out of the Marines. There’s a strike against him right there. But he said he’s not one of “those” Marines. He referred to himself as “in the rear with the gear”. Aren’t military men just so cute with their little rhyming phrases?

Brent is married and has two children, both adopted from previous foster care. I didn’t ask if reproductive problems had prevented him from making his own, but I assume so. Both of his children came from bad places. They were too young to remember, but one of them at least has behavioral issues from being exposed to substances. What a fucking way to come into the world, huh? He keeps telling me to write things down to remind myself that I don’t want children of my own. Those hikes I go on? Gone. Weekend batting cages and bars? Gone. Thanks, Brent.

So his wife seems to be a stay at home mom. And she just can’t get enough of having new children coming to live with her. Brent feels that the two children they have are enough. But his wife wants to foster care just one more. Her selection? A fifteen year-old girl in an all girl group home.

Am I the only one who sees the problem in this? First of all, Brent doesn’t even want another kid around, let alone a grown one. I suspect this is the point when a man has to put his foot down and make a declaration of this one thing that either will or will not be allowed in his house. His wife would have to take care of most of the work, and she accepts that. But her husband doesn’t want it. Now if he never actually forbade this from happening, then it’s his problem and he needs to grow the cojones required to remind a housewife of her role.

Second issue is the obvious one. This is a fifteen year-old girl. Sure that’s young. Hell, she’s still a kid. But there are a few things to remember here.

• She’s already had some life experience. She grew up in foster care and group homes. This isn’t some coddled, innocent little girly girl. She’s probably known the back of a man’s hand. She’s probably felt unwelcome advances in her own bed. She’s probably started and finished fistfights. And as a result, she probably not only feels that she is already an adult, but has gained some manipulative skills to increase her advantage.

• She’s been without a proper male role model. Odds are that she has learned that her little body is proper reward for affection already. And any man who would take her in, feed her, teach her, help raise her, and give her badly needed structure surely would expect some entitlement to at least a blowjob, right? It’s a sad state of affairs, but is it not a truism?

• She ain’t gonna be fifteen for long. Next comes sixteen. Then comes seventeen. And with every passing month, this girl is going to come more and more into her womanhood, into her own. She’ll have friends her age. They probably will be less fortunate children like her, and her foster parents’ crib is likely the best pad to chill in.

• His wife is no spring chicken. I don’t know her and I have no idea what she looks like. But if she’s a stay at home mom working on two children, I’d bet good money that she’s not exactly in peak physical condition. Nor is it likely that she’s taking ten minutes or so before her husband gets home to freshen up and look appealing to her bacon-bringing hubby every day. But the new girl? Well… turn on MTV. You’ll get the point.

So yesterday after getting off the phone with his wife he told me that he’s meeting her tomorrow at the group home. And he told me that he’s a little creeped out about the whole thing. Not being a guy who likes to exacerbate a situation, I told him, “Dude, this IS fucking creepy. I mean I know she’s 15 and everything, but a man’s a man. And the fact that your wife is bringing her in is even creepier. I hope she realizes what she’s doing.”

And before we left I offered him some advice. And for once in a long time, I think he might actually consider it. The simple fact is that she wants to bring in this girl, and he doesn’t. Someone’s not going to get their way. Someone’s going to be uncomfortable. So I told him to go to the meeting and start taking a very close interest in everything about this girl. Ask her about her life. Ask her personal questions. Wiggle around in your seat. Fidget with your hands. Your wife will notice this stuff, and she’ll eliminate the potential competition quickly.

Of course this leaves a young girl without a place to live outside the group home. But hey, who said life is fair? Knowing what I know of women, most of you would rather this bitch freeze in some back alley then be warm in your bed.

# posted by Mike @ 8:12 AM