Monday, August 22, 2005
Work hard, play hard
This weekend was different than the "planned fun" I've been engaging in lately. Nina had been preoccupied with preparing herself for work today and she was having car troubles that I needed to deal with. So rather than just type out yet another bland retread of all my weekend activities chronologically, I'll just go issue by issue.
FASHION SHOW - Nina's been stressing out over her training that begins today. She's always had jobs that either provided her with a uniform or didn't require any dress code at all. So when she was told that she had to be dressed in "Business Casual" she freaked. I told her to go buy some outfits, and to just use her best judgment. Saturday she tried everything on for me. I liked most of it and hated some of it. There was one skirt that made her look like she had fat hips... so I told her it made her look like she had fat hips. I guess the absence of a vagina on my body makes that statement a bit more offensive. Or maybe it's just the way I said it. At any rate, she's got about four or five skirts, two dresses, two slacks and plenty of tops. She doesn't have much in the way of shoes or accessories. But that will come with time. She still thinks that she doesn't have much yet. I think the average working woman has fewer than ten complete outfits that can be hung in her closet at any one time. What do you think?
THE IMPALA - After taking Nina's car to Sun Devil Auto for an oil change I was told that she needed to have her rotors and rear brake pads replaced because they were heat warped and were causing vibration. Rather than pay them $400+ to do the job I had Nina buy the rotors and pads and took on the chore of doing it myself. This should NOT have been the fiasco it was. I couldn't get her fucking brake caliper off to save my life. I was putting all my weight into it and grunting and getting all messy, but it just wouldn't happen. I oiled it and even took a goddamned blowtorch to the son of a bitch. Nothing. So I called a mechanic who lives in a desert trailer. I took him the car and gave him $50 to do it for me. He got the job done in a couple hours and even gave me a nice fat joint to enjoy at my own discretion. How nice of him.
Fucking goddamnit motherfucker cocksucking shitbag! Nina just fucking called me to tell me it's still fucking vibrating. Guess I'm not done with this situation yet. Grrrr!
PUFFY MUFFINS - I don't have the picture to post here at work, so I will later. But Nina was nice enough to make me a batch of delicioso blueberry banana muffins to munch on this weekend. I just had two at my desk. I offered to help but Nina wouldn't let me. I think it's a whole "taking care of her workin' man" all by herself kind of thing. At any rate they're wonderful, and not bad for me at all. Sweet! I'll get that pic to post. She looks so proud.
SPA DAY - Seeing as how I've been... umm... a bit, shall we say... stressed lately, Nina and I agreed that it would be in my best interest to endulge in a massage. So Nina set us up with appointments. She wanted a massage, but there were no openings. So instead she got a facial and a pedicure. I started out with a hardcore, deep tissue massage with sports and trigger points folded in. It was painful and wonderful. Weirdest thing though. When she was massaging my hands and especially my feet, I started to cry. It wasn't like tears came out, but I made the whole sad face and my breathing got all huffy. The masseuse had to stop and ask me if she was killing me. How embarassing. Anyway, the massage was great and the facial was relaxing. I got my eyebrows waxed and my blackheads popped. I'm all purtied up now. Afterward, we went out for sushi, fried rice, goyza, and sake! Yay sake!
HOUSE BITCH - Sunday morning, Nina left to go complete what outfits she had that hadn't yet been matched with a top or bottom. Doesn't she understand that no matter what kind of bottom she has, I'm the matching top? But while she was gone I decided to take on a few chores. I started with a load of laundry and starting the dishwasher. Each chore led to another chore that needed to be done. There are still plenty of things to do, but yesterday alone I managed to clean the kitchen, including diassembling and cleaning the stovetop, cleaning the microwave, wash, dry and fold three loads of laundry, iron, vacuum all carpets, clean the bathroom countertops, sweep the tile floors, scoop the litter box, take out the trash, and reorganize one of our storage closets as well as just general straightening. I really felt pretty good about it. We'll see how the week tears my work apart.
AA MEETING - As I said, the mechanic guy gave me a joint to take with me. But he also had one fired up at his place when I arrived. Not the best sign, I know. But it's not like he was being charged with retuning my transmission. So by the time I got home, I was still half baked. I don't smoke often, but if it's being handed to me, what the fuck? Sam and Nina were in the library and Sam was all sobby again. What the fuck goes on between Nina and Sam that he always starts fucking crying? This time I told him to just stop crying and be a fucking grown man. He needed to go to an AA meeting but he didn't have gas. Since I needed to go out again with someone to get Nina's car back anyway, I offered to take him and attend. As a guest, I'm not allowed to speak, and I think that's a good thing. This is supposed to be a place of hope and growth, and I suppose it is. Fine I'm a monster. These were some of the saddest most pathetic people I've ever seen. Nobody had the balls to just say that their problems are their fault and not the fucking bottled. Of course the alcoholic gene was brought up. God, I have it too, you weak-willed shits! Anyway, I kept my mouth shut and when it was over I managed to back my car into a big steel cage with a gas meter or something in it. No real damage, but it thrashed up my rear panel pretty good.
And that brings us to today. Here I am at my desk, getting ready to call Sun Devil Auto back and schedule a time for them to look over Nina's car so that I can have it fixed properly. Nina's kind of pissy with me because, well I'm not sure. I guess I'm supposed to be thrilled to still have the opportuity to fix her car for her again. Anyway, I'm sure she's just stressed out about work and upset that despite my weekend, I'm still a stressed out anger management case. No worries though, I'll just imerse myself in work. Work will get me through. Thanks for tuning in!
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FASHION SHOW - Nina's been stressing out over her training that begins today. She's always had jobs that either provided her with a uniform or didn't require any dress code at all. So when she was told that she had to be dressed in "Business Casual" she freaked. I told her to go buy some outfits, and to just use her best judgment. Saturday she tried everything on for me. I liked most of it and hated some of it. There was one skirt that made her look like she had fat hips... so I told her it made her look like she had fat hips. I guess the absence of a vagina on my body makes that statement a bit more offensive. Or maybe it's just the way I said it. At any rate, she's got about four or five skirts, two dresses, two slacks and plenty of tops. She doesn't have much in the way of shoes or accessories. But that will come with time. She still thinks that she doesn't have much yet. I think the average working woman has fewer than ten complete outfits that can be hung in her closet at any one time. What do you think?
THE IMPALA - After taking Nina's car to Sun Devil Auto for an oil change I was told that she needed to have her rotors and rear brake pads replaced because they were heat warped and were causing vibration. Rather than pay them $400+ to do the job I had Nina buy the rotors and pads and took on the chore of doing it myself. This should NOT have been the fiasco it was. I couldn't get her fucking brake caliper off to save my life. I was putting all my weight into it and grunting and getting all messy, but it just wouldn't happen. I oiled it and even took a goddamned blowtorch to the son of a bitch. Nothing. So I called a mechanic who lives in a desert trailer. I took him the car and gave him $50 to do it for me. He got the job done in a couple hours and even gave me a nice fat joint to enjoy at my own discretion. How nice of him.
Fucking goddamnit motherfucker cocksucking shitbag! Nina just fucking called me to tell me it's still fucking vibrating. Guess I'm not done with this situation yet. Grrrr!
PUFFY MUFFINS - I don't have the picture to post here at work, so I will later. But Nina was nice enough to make me a batch of delicioso blueberry banana muffins to munch on this weekend. I just had two at my desk. I offered to help but Nina wouldn't let me. I think it's a whole "taking care of her workin' man" all by herself kind of thing. At any rate they're wonderful, and not bad for me at all. Sweet! I'll get that pic to post. She looks so proud.
SPA DAY - Seeing as how I've been... umm... a bit, shall we say... stressed lately, Nina and I agreed that it would be in my best interest to endulge in a massage. So Nina set us up with appointments. She wanted a massage, but there were no openings. So instead she got a facial and a pedicure. I started out with a hardcore, deep tissue massage with sports and trigger points folded in. It was painful and wonderful. Weirdest thing though. When she was massaging my hands and especially my feet, I started to cry. It wasn't like tears came out, but I made the whole sad face and my breathing got all huffy. The masseuse had to stop and ask me if she was killing me. How embarassing. Anyway, the massage was great and the facial was relaxing. I got my eyebrows waxed and my blackheads popped. I'm all purtied up now. Afterward, we went out for sushi, fried rice, goyza, and sake! Yay sake!
HOUSE BITCH - Sunday morning, Nina left to go complete what outfits she had that hadn't yet been matched with a top or bottom. Doesn't she understand that no matter what kind of bottom she has, I'm the matching top? But while she was gone I decided to take on a few chores. I started with a load of laundry and starting the dishwasher. Each chore led to another chore that needed to be done. There are still plenty of things to do, but yesterday alone I managed to clean the kitchen, including diassembling and cleaning the stovetop, cleaning the microwave, wash, dry and fold three loads of laundry, iron, vacuum all carpets, clean the bathroom countertops, sweep the tile floors, scoop the litter box, take out the trash, and reorganize one of our storage closets as well as just general straightening. I really felt pretty good about it. We'll see how the week tears my work apart.
AA MEETING - As I said, the mechanic guy gave me a joint to take with me. But he also had one fired up at his place when I arrived. Not the best sign, I know. But it's not like he was being charged with retuning my transmission. So by the time I got home, I was still half baked. I don't smoke often, but if it's being handed to me, what the fuck? Sam and Nina were in the library and Sam was all sobby again. What the fuck goes on between Nina and Sam that he always starts fucking crying? This time I told him to just stop crying and be a fucking grown man. He needed to go to an AA meeting but he didn't have gas. Since I needed to go out again with someone to get Nina's car back anyway, I offered to take him and attend. As a guest, I'm not allowed to speak, and I think that's a good thing. This is supposed to be a place of hope and growth, and I suppose it is. Fine I'm a monster. These were some of the saddest most pathetic people I've ever seen. Nobody had the balls to just say that their problems are their fault and not the fucking bottled. Of course the alcoholic gene was brought up. God, I have it too, you weak-willed shits! Anyway, I kept my mouth shut and when it was over I managed to back my car into a big steel cage with a gas meter or something in it. No real damage, but it thrashed up my rear panel pretty good.
And that brings us to today. Here I am at my desk, getting ready to call Sun Devil Auto back and schedule a time for them to look over Nina's car so that I can have it fixed properly. Nina's kind of pissy with me because, well I'm not sure. I guess I'm supposed to be thrilled to still have the opportuity to fix her car for her again. Anyway, I'm sure she's just stressed out about work and upset that despite my weekend, I'm still a stressed out anger management case. No worries though, I'll just imerse myself in work. Work will get me through. Thanks for tuning in!
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