Sunday, July 31, 2005
Mind Nuggets 5
I just got a call from our Mormon friends in Mesa. They wanted to tell us about a baby shower coming up that they wanted us to attend. Fine. I doubt that it's anything that I'll be interested in, but I'm always game for a free meal. The problem is that it's a planned separation of the boys and girls. She told me that all the boys would be out back doing our "boy thing" while the girls had a little party inside. This shit make me want to fucking hork. I hate being lumped in with the men to do "man" things. Especially when it's the girls doing the separating. Women are always so bitchy that we men don't try to understand them. What about this archaic stereotypical horseshit that puts all of us on the same porch? I fucking hate Nascar and talking about what I do for a living. Maybe I'll just find a quiet corner to hide out in. Then again, they are Mormons. If I just get good and smashed, maybe they'll kick me out. Sweet
That reminds me, I can't stand it when I pick up the phone and the person calling me just assumes that I know who it is. You know these people? They just say "hi" when you answer. My dad does this, and I can't tell him apart from about four other men I know. The Mormon girl does it. I used to get all embarassed like I'm the asshold for not knowing who it is on the line. I'd play the little "Sooo... how's work been? What's going on this weekend? How long has it been since we've talked?" game. Now I usually just ask "who the fuck is this?" That gets me a proper introduction every time.
Jamba Juice is the fucking bomb. It's as simple as that. There's one about a mile from my second job so I get to have one every now and then before work. De-lish! Unfortunately they're not as healthy as one might think. Each one of the regular sized ones is packing as many calories as a DQ Blizzard. And they process pretty quickly so you're hungry again after a few hours. But it does have fruit... a lot of fruit. So if you're not accustomed to eating your daily recommended allowance of fresh fruits, then use discretion. Otherwise you'll wind up dropping four bucks for temporary hunger fix and a night full of pudding ass.
I actually had to exercise my managerial powers the ther day by telling one of my reps that he needs to improve his personal hygiene. There's this guy who's been with the company a few weeks. He dresses nice and all. But he's about 300+ pounds and the fucker smells like used armpit-scented toilet paper. Whenever he shows up, the rest of the reps request a transfer to another seat. You'd think it would sink in that he's always all alone. But no, he ust keeps on coming to work with little squiggly lines emitting from his XXXL shirt. So during a monitor sesion with him I had to politely encourage him to wash himself more thoroughly every day. I know you're fat, dude. But I assure you ... if you reach for the water, the water will reach back.
Nina and I have fallen in love with this German bar next to one of the only good German restaurants in the valley. You can see pics of the joint on Nina's blog. The problem with it is three fold. One, the seats aren't very comfortable. Oh well. Two, the Erdlinger beers that I've come to love are six bucks each. I can buy them at AJ's Fine Foods for two and change. But three, since it's a beer place, there seems to always be some dork sitting around talking brews and making sure to utilize his best German dialect. I can handle it, but it's quite the annoyance. Mainly because this is an environment where he's more in his element then I am in mine. So I have to sit there while he tries to be all suave for Nina as my increasingly drunk wife begins one of her famous twenty minute monologues.
More to come...
|
That reminds me, I can't stand it when I pick up the phone and the person calling me just assumes that I know who it is. You know these people? They just say "hi" when you answer. My dad does this, and I can't tell him apart from about four other men I know. The Mormon girl does it. I used to get all embarassed like I'm the asshold for not knowing who it is on the line. I'd play the little "Sooo... how's work been? What's going on this weekend? How long has it been since we've talked?" game. Now I usually just ask "who the fuck is this?" That gets me a proper introduction every time.
Jamba Juice is the fucking bomb. It's as simple as that. There's one about a mile from my second job so I get to have one every now and then before work. De-lish! Unfortunately they're not as healthy as one might think. Each one of the regular sized ones is packing as many calories as a DQ Blizzard. And they process pretty quickly so you're hungry again after a few hours. But it does have fruit... a lot of fruit. So if you're not accustomed to eating your daily recommended allowance of fresh fruits, then use discretion. Otherwise you'll wind up dropping four bucks for temporary hunger fix and a night full of pudding ass.
I actually had to exercise my managerial powers the ther day by telling one of my reps that he needs to improve his personal hygiene. There's this guy who's been with the company a few weeks. He dresses nice and all. But he's about 300+ pounds and the fucker smells like used armpit-scented toilet paper. Whenever he shows up, the rest of the reps request a transfer to another seat. You'd think it would sink in that he's always all alone. But no, he ust keeps on coming to work with little squiggly lines emitting from his XXXL shirt. So during a monitor sesion with him I had to politely encourage him to wash himself more thoroughly every day. I know you're fat, dude. But I assure you ... if you reach for the water, the water will reach back.
Nina and I have fallen in love with this German bar next to one of the only good German restaurants in the valley. You can see pics of the joint on Nina's blog. The problem with it is three fold. One, the seats aren't very comfortable. Oh well. Two, the Erdlinger beers that I've come to love are six bucks each. I can buy them at AJ's Fine Foods for two and change. But three, since it's a beer place, there seems to always be some dork sitting around talking brews and making sure to utilize his best German dialect. I can handle it, but it's quite the annoyance. Mainly because this is an environment where he's more in his element then I am in mine. So I have to sit there while he tries to be all suave for Nina as my increasingly drunk wife begins one of her famous twenty minute monologues.
More to come...
|
Read my Dreambook guestbook! Sign my Dreambook! |
|