Thursday, July 07, 2005

 

25 truths and 25 lies

  1. I am dreading my thirtieth birthday
  2. I make a fantastic lobster bisque
  3. I’m a breast man
  4. I haven’t taken a dump in three days
  5. I have no interest in sports
  6. I can perform most basic calculations in my head with good speed
  7. I have never fully recovered from injuries sustained when hit by a car at age twelve
  8. I had my first kiss at age fourteen
  9. I had my first lay ten days later
  10. I have had sex with fewer than twenty women
  11. I despise Capri pants
  12. My favorite word is “flummoxed”
  13. For money, I will staple things to my body
  14. I have stabbed a man in a fight
  15. I have respect for all life
  16. I love humanity
  17. I am an Atheist
  18. When angered, I become calm and sadistic
  19. I am 12.5% black
  20. I am from Indiana and I actually know a man who has had sex with his sister
  21. I stare at myself in the mirror because I am vain
  22. I stare at myself in the mirror because it puts me in a strange trance
  23. I rarely ever look in a mirror
  24. I love eating plain white rice
  25. To stay sharp and safe, I automatically plan a way to destroy my closest friends
  26. I believe in life after death
  27. I am bisexual
  28. I can restore a Rubik’s cube in under three minutes
  29. I am addicted to at least one illegal drug
  30. This year alone, I have eaten my weight in Subway sandwiches
  31. I have a foot fetish
  32. I am lost in a state of moral ambiguity
  33. But I do have moments of clarity
  34. There are only three people in this world that I trust
  35. I have a slice scar on my right wrist
  36. I dye my grays
  37. My porno collection is so well hidden on my computer, even I can’t find it
  38. I have given a blowjob before
  39. I eat mustard, but prefer mayo
  40. I have a strange tendency to slap myself in the face
  41. I have almost constant THO
  42. I keep track of people from my past, in case I need to have them “silenced”
  43. I am a feminist
  44. I have to piss every time I spit out my toothpaste
  45. Despite my efforts, I still can’t beat an eight minute mile
  46. I have never tried any hard narcotic
  47. I have a genius I.Q. and a learning disorder
  48. I fear rejection, yet seek out lost causes
  49. I once watched a man choking, though I knew the Heimlich maneuver, because it was just so interesting

# posted by Mike @ 8:00 AM
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