Just Off Center

Ah Phoenix. Home of the Suns, Diamondbacks, Coyotes, ASU, about 4.2 million illegal immigrants, and this giant pile of slag laid smack in the middle of the fucking metropolitan area. This is Mount Camelback. It's used as a training area and proving ground for health nuts valley-wide. This particular peak kicked the shit out of me the first time I took it on. So now I'm going back. The gauntlet has been thrown down. Well not literally, a mountain can't throw down a gauntlet. But you get the idea.


The three things I need for any good hike: my Ipod (decorated with a neutrino interaction event from within a bubble chamber couresy of Grace, some delicious, lovely, scrumptions, healthy, pure O-Premium water, and something to wrap my head in. The Viagra lable wasn't necessary, but I think it helped.


It's 6:15 AM and already as bright as an incubator. Here's the '98 Chevy Lumina that will take me to the mountain some fifty miles away, despite its constant squeaking and squawking.


This part of the mountain that I shot from the stairway was just cool as hell. I should have done some research to be able to tell you all about it. You likely couldn't give a rat fuck anyway. But it is pretty, huh?


I call this the stairway. It's right at the beginning of the hike and goes on and on and on and up and up and up for at least the first quarter of the total climb. I got good and winded by the time I got to some real climbing.


Without a doubt the steepest portion of the climb. It wasn't the hardest to handle, but you really had to mind your footing. A lot of people used the handrail they had to install. A lot of people are pussies too. Though I know the only reason I say that is because I haven't taken a proper tumble yet. Note the left side that is for the climbers while the right for descenders and how smoothe the left side has worn from foot traffic. Yeah, that made it tougher.


This snap really doesn't capture the true incline of this section. Remember, I'm pointing the camera upward here. I had to stop for air a few times on this part. Meanwhile I was getting passed by the "fitties" who were actually running this course.


A standing metaphor for the way I felt at this point. I think the dead cactus had it better off. Hikers and runners kept passing me by as I heaved and huffed my way over every boulder. Fuck 'em. They'll probably have heart attacks by 40.


I'm on top of the world! Well the Phoenix metro area anyway. This is a shot of the downtown area. Notice that we don't have a skyline at all. No, to survive in the desert, one must be low to the ground. But still, you're looking at about 800,000 people anyway here I assure you. I DON'T HAVE CITY ENVY!!!


And here I am at the top of the mountain. Yay. Is it just me or do I have some weird bowing thing going on with my left leg (the one on the right)? I might want to get that checked out.


It's a long way down from the summit, though this picture hardly does it justice. This spot was perfectly flat and extended out over the drop. A perfect place for a jump. So I'm morbid. Sue me.


And the hike is done. It always feels good to take care of my body on a Sunday morning. And here's a man's lunch to reward myself. It's Sunday, so I hit Subway up for two of the six inch chicken sandwiches on special. And the beer I got for $5, normally $7.99. How you like me NOW?!?


Here. You can have this for your precious half naked Thursdays or whatever it is. This is the weakest part of my body, my right ankle. More than any other part, this one let's me know that someday it might just decide to not let me keep my balance at these heights. It's sore, swollen, and tricky. It's had occasion to just stop working at times. Yes, Nina's already set me up with an appointment. Worrywarts.


OK, the truth here is that I still had a few shots left in the roll of film and I'm thinking about updating my bio pic. Still, maybe I'd want to get a shower and shave before I take a shot of myself for the new avatar.

And that's it! Thanks for following along my pictoral history of this morning's hike. Happy Monday (or whenever it is that you see this)!