Tuesday, October 18, 2005
So much for my career as an ankle model
Since I'm going to be spending the weekend with some of my blogger buddies I wanted to use the remaining days in the week to go out and make sure I get all the physical activity I can. I don't want to spend the weekend getting shitfaced and eating snacks and gain seven pounds of fat back on my ass. Plus I'm in training to kick my father's ass on Superstition this January. I'll explain that later
I decided yesterday that I was going to run up and down my usual stomping grounds, a mountain called Pass Mountain in the northeast corner of the East Valley in Phoenix. I've done it half a dozen times at least. The run up was frustrating at best. As soon as the terrain took a tough slope I had to resort to hiking instead of jogging. This was the case all the way to the cove near the summit called Wind Cave. I decided that I wanted to summit the mountain. As you continue beyond Wind Cave, the trail is not maintained. It is much steeper and full of cacti and skree. However, some nice hikers were human enough to put little white spray painted arrows on a few rocks to guide me. At one point you reach a fork going up. Either way leads to the summit. I always went left
Two paths diverged on a mountain. And I.... I took the one less traveled by. And my ankle's the size of a melon.
As I made my way through the unknown path to the top, I noticed there was a considerably greater amount of cactus and brush in my way. Oh I forgot to mention that it was getting dark and rainy. It was still early, but the cool breeze did more than just cool my heaving body. It blew plants all over the place. And in Arizona, if it's green, it's thorny. Ouch. Then I approached this part of the climb that was akin to a set of rocky stairs. It was between two large, flat boulders, shaded and cool. I thought to myself as I stepped on the first stone, "This would be a good place for..."
bzzzzzz bzzzzzzz bzzzzz
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I'M OUTTA HERE! FUCKING BEES, AAAAAHHHHH!!!! I looked down and there's dozens of these little black furry fucks buzzing around my feet and I had just accidentally kicked some pebbles into their little world. I turned tail and started hopping the fuck out of there. The problem was that I was no longer on a trail. I was literally just scaling the side of this fucking mountain going through cactus and other prickly things, all the while these assholes are buzzing right behind me, following me. One put its stinger right in my back. AAHHHH!!! You little bastard! I kept hobbling around until I finally got to a nice fifteen foot drop off on which I was lucky enough to find footholds and climb down. I made it back to the original trail that I used to climb to the summit on and continued on.
The summit was especially beautiful. It was raining in parts all over the valley. There was a rainbow off to the east. Thunder was all around. Lightning peppered the north valley. It was so cool and breezy and I was standing on the highest rock, above all civilization. I decided that I had been bold enough and I should climb down before a strong gust knocked me over the side. Besides, it was about to rain and I had a little bit of scaling to do.
The trip back down was fun and a great workout. I decided to put my reflexes and foot/eye coordination to the test by jogging the entire trip down. I was bounding from rock to rock. I nearly took a bad spill a couple of times. But that risk is part of it. Besides, almost falling ain't falling. I made it to the foothill of the mountain and was making a great pace. I ran right past this older couple that I had met at Wind Cave who said that they were scared to summit. I leapt on a rock right between them and tossed off an "excuse me" as I left them behind.
About 100 yards later, my poor ankle just gave out. It was raining and slippery. But that's not what got me. My right ankle has been my weakest part for a long time. It used to give out by itself when I was heavier. Now, I try to work it to stretch the tendons and strengthen the muscles. I guess I just worked it too hard. I took a long stride and when I landed... Crunch right, pop left, crunch right, and I'm cussing. It took me ten more strides to stop. It was pouring now. So I stumbled back to my car and began driving home. By then it was swollen and hurting. I didn't break it. But when I got up last night to get a snack, I had to jump back into bed on my left foot and cover up because apart from the intense pain, I was now inexplicably freezing cold.
Nina brought me a couple of her Rx Ibuprofin and propped my leg up with ice. I'll be fine, but I might not be able to go for that beach run I was looking forward to this weekend. And the pony might be put away. Sorry friends. If I don't heal soon, I'll have to make a total ass of myself some other time.
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I decided yesterday that I was going to run up and down my usual stomping grounds, a mountain called Pass Mountain in the northeast corner of the East Valley in Phoenix. I've done it half a dozen times at least. The run up was frustrating at best. As soon as the terrain took a tough slope I had to resort to hiking instead of jogging. This was the case all the way to the cove near the summit called Wind Cave. I decided that I wanted to summit the mountain. As you continue beyond Wind Cave, the trail is not maintained. It is much steeper and full of cacti and skree. However, some nice hikers were human enough to put little white spray painted arrows on a few rocks to guide me. At one point you reach a fork going up. Either way leads to the summit. I always went left
Two paths diverged on a mountain. And I.... I took the one less traveled by. And my ankle's the size of a melon.
As I made my way through the unknown path to the top, I noticed there was a considerably greater amount of cactus and brush in my way. Oh I forgot to mention that it was getting dark and rainy. It was still early, but the cool breeze did more than just cool my heaving body. It blew plants all over the place. And in Arizona, if it's green, it's thorny. Ouch. Then I approached this part of the climb that was akin to a set of rocky stairs. It was between two large, flat boulders, shaded and cool. I thought to myself as I stepped on the first stone, "This would be a good place for..."
bzzzzzz bzzzzzzz bzzzzz
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I'M OUTTA HERE! FUCKING BEES, AAAAAHHHHH!!!! I looked down and there's dozens of these little black furry fucks buzzing around my feet and I had just accidentally kicked some pebbles into their little world. I turned tail and started hopping the fuck out of there. The problem was that I was no longer on a trail. I was literally just scaling the side of this fucking mountain going through cactus and other prickly things, all the while these assholes are buzzing right behind me, following me. One put its stinger right in my back. AAHHHH!!! You little bastard! I kept hobbling around until I finally got to a nice fifteen foot drop off on which I was lucky enough to find footholds and climb down. I made it back to the original trail that I used to climb to the summit on and continued on.
The summit was especially beautiful. It was raining in parts all over the valley. There was a rainbow off to the east. Thunder was all around. Lightning peppered the north valley. It was so cool and breezy and I was standing on the highest rock, above all civilization. I decided that I had been bold enough and I should climb down before a strong gust knocked me over the side. Besides, it was about to rain and I had a little bit of scaling to do.
The trip back down was fun and a great workout. I decided to put my reflexes and foot/eye coordination to the test by jogging the entire trip down. I was bounding from rock to rock. I nearly took a bad spill a couple of times. But that risk is part of it. Besides, almost falling ain't falling. I made it to the foothill of the mountain and was making a great pace. I ran right past this older couple that I had met at Wind Cave who said that they were scared to summit. I leapt on a rock right between them and tossed off an "excuse me" as I left them behind.
About 100 yards later, my poor ankle just gave out. It was raining and slippery. But that's not what got me. My right ankle has been my weakest part for a long time. It used to give out by itself when I was heavier. Now, I try to work it to stretch the tendons and strengthen the muscles. I guess I just worked it too hard. I took a long stride and when I landed... Crunch right, pop left, crunch right, and I'm cussing. It took me ten more strides to stop. It was pouring now. So I stumbled back to my car and began driving home. By then it was swollen and hurting. I didn't break it. But when I got up last night to get a snack, I had to jump back into bed on my left foot and cover up because apart from the intense pain, I was now inexplicably freezing cold.
Nina brought me a couple of her Rx Ibuprofin and propped my leg up with ice. I'll be fine, but I might not be able to go for that beach run I was looking forward to this weekend. And the pony might be put away. Sorry friends. If I don't heal soon, I'll have to make a total ass of myself some other time.
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