Monday, November 22, 2004
Depressing keyword searches
I started using Statcounter about two months ago because I wanted to see how some people find their way to my blog. I'd gotten an email from a random person saying that they found it in a search for "Kryon". I thought that was supremely cool that I was now popping up on search engines and that people who were looking up info on topics similar to those I post on might come across my blog. Since I'm closing in quickly on 100,000 words in this journal I decided to keep track of what key phrases people were searching for to find me.
Now that I have this code in my template I'm a little afraid of what I'm finding. I figured there would be people who found me through searches on phrases like "fuck shit asshole cocksucker dickface prick" and "the perfect man". Even "hairy balls" would have been ok. Much to my dismay and horror I have logged the following keyword searches people have used and found my blog in the results:
Another thing that bothers me is that with this wonderful searching technology at our fingertips why are so many people looking up ways to see pictures of kids in puberty and grown men beating off and blowing their loads? I know there are some sick bastards out there, but this is a bit unnerving. I try to tell myself that these are young boys and girls who are looking for pictures of pubescent kids to see if their bodies are normal. I comfort myself with the thought of teenage boys looking for other guys who have had the unfortunate experience of being caught masturbating to pornography by a loved one. But in the end, I damn well know that I'm tapping into that mid-fifties, bald, fat, lonely, naked at the computer, gay pedophile demographic who are just looking for kiddy porn to whack off to. As a side note, do people who have cyber sex use acronyms and abbreviations like LOL and BRB?
IFYWOOF: I'm fucking you doggy style
SMYT: Show me your tits
TOMF: Try one more finger
DIJCAOMKA: Damn, I just came all over my keyboard again
Another thing is that these don't even seem to be the kind of searches that would yield a lot of results. Not that I'd know (cough) but I'd bet that if I wanted to find pics of sixty year old topless women I'd be better off searching for something like "grandma titties", not "show me boobies of old lady hooker". Damn it! Now I just feel dirty and it's virtually impossible to take a shower at work.
Now that I have this code in my template I'm a little afraid of what I'm finding. I figured there would be people who found me through searches on phrases like "fuck shit asshole cocksucker dickface prick" and "the perfect man". Even "hairy balls" would have been ok. Much to my dismay and horror I have logged the following keyword searches people have used and found my blog in the results:
- kryon bullshit
- vibrators obsolescence men
- song from the newest nextel commercial
- stoners jacking off
- popcorning gay sex
- armystics designs
- caught jacking off
- monica bellucci estrogen
- stupid new age crap kryon
- jerk off in bed photo
- moneyshot
- fuckhole indiana
- girls try lesbianism for attention
- puberty progression pics
- 2005 dreambook of 50 years old father
- drum beats for nirvana smells like teen spirit
- how can we stimulate the cells of the limbic portion of the brain to eliminate
- kroc freak and fetish ball
- dirty k9 girl's
- i work front desk lady class phone headphones breath blog
- 2005 dreambook of my sick mother
- narcissisist
- best quizilla
- quizilla suicide
- psychology preferred methods orgasming
- the story of us fuck me
- hummingbird simulator dual action vibrator
- watch men jerk off
- weird puberty
- off jerking stories
- years old first orgasm puberty
- international delight french vanilla
- airborne scrotum
- the female naked body at puberty
- puberty boners
- preteen site:.blogspot.com
- chris pontius jerking off
- grandma caught me jacking off porn
Another thing that bothers me is that with this wonderful searching technology at our fingertips why are so many people looking up ways to see pictures of kids in puberty and grown men beating off and blowing their loads? I know there are some sick bastards out there, but this is a bit unnerving. I try to tell myself that these are young boys and girls who are looking for pictures of pubescent kids to see if their bodies are normal. I comfort myself with the thought of teenage boys looking for other guys who have had the unfortunate experience of being caught masturbating to pornography by a loved one. But in the end, I damn well know that I'm tapping into that mid-fifties, bald, fat, lonely, naked at the computer, gay pedophile demographic who are just looking for kiddy porn to whack off to. As a side note, do people who have cyber sex use acronyms and abbreviations like LOL and BRB?
IFYWOOF: I'm fucking you doggy style
SMYT: Show me your tits
TOMF: Try one more finger
DIJCAOMKA: Damn, I just came all over my keyboard again
Another thing is that these don't even seem to be the kind of searches that would yield a lot of results. Not that I'd know (cough) but I'd bet that if I wanted to find pics of sixty year old topless women I'd be better off searching for something like "grandma titties", not "show me boobies of old lady hooker". Damn it! Now I just feel dirty and it's virtually impossible to take a shower at work.
Comments:
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Well I think you can thank me for "International Delights French Vanilla" but I'll never admit to "Chris Pontius Jerking Off". NEVER!
the best part about this whole post is that you have just opened up whole new searches for those sick fucks...
awesome. good job. :P bwahahaha!
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awesome. good job. :P bwahahaha!
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