Just Off Center

Hi everyone. It's about 3:30 PM in the big bad O.C. right now. Nina and I are hangin' with Grace and Steve and the Halo 2 party will be commencing in a few hours. From this point on I am turning over the computer as community property.

(g) i'm getting shit on at my own home. fucker. (the fucker comment was about mike, in case anyone was asking.) anyway, i love nina. mike's playing karaoke revolution right now. he's singing "wind beneath my wings" right now. bwhahahahahaha. it's even funnier because i'm already buzzed. fuck!

(s) mike is the best bette midler impersonater i've ever heard...i'm in love right now, he really needs to just go glam and go for his in a vegas lounge act or something. wind beneath my wings indeed!

(g) now it's just pure karaoke fun! nina and steve won't play. boooooo!

(m) Ok, I onc`e thought thast I had some slkills as a singer. A PS2 kareoke game has proven men utterly wrong. My sincerest apologies to all my former audiences.

(g) nina's making mike sing all sorts of bitch songs. it's comedy. he's totally getting into it. it's awesome. by the way, mike doesn't suck. so.... here i am... trying to sing... and fucking mike is humping my leg because he's a stage hog. miss piggy, anyone? :P also, mike has a ghetto booty. i'm still drunk. the sun hasn't even gone down yet.

(n) Steve makes kick ass cocktails. I have had two and I'm contemplating singing. Grace and Michael are like long lost brother and sister. I think we are a couple of songs away from a fist fight between them. It's entertaining.:)

(g) i'm really drunk. i'm sorry nina and michael had to see me drunk. i'm so embarrassed. okay. i'm not. mike's a freak. he's dancing to billie jean right now. it's comedy.

(n) i'm deaf and buzzed. michael is screaming the owws in Billy Jean. I had to do a hail mary. Not pretty. i am tingling. not good, no guests have arrived. at this rate Michael, Grace, and I are going to be passed out before we even turn on the x-box.

(g) there are no guests here. it's only 4:45. i am DRUNK. very, very D R U N K. i can barely type. i like to make mike sing songs that make him sound like a girl. it's funny. and i enjoy it. mike is singing "broken wings." it's great! by great, i mean funny. :P why is steve the only sober one here???? fuck! he has a hollow leg. i know it.

(N) Steve had an extra cocktail... I couldn't let it go to waste. Typing all the sudden seems hard.

(s) it's fun being bartender. oh, and it's also fun being videographer when grace and mike are singing the duet from "grease" including dance moves.

(g) i'm sorry. i just fucked up a song. big time. i'm very drunk. hey, mike's coming out.

(s) yes, mike says "i'm coming out" right now...and we honestly believe it.

(g) no, seriously. mike is coming out. it's fucking awesome. did i mention that i'm drunk? steve makes some strong ass drinks. it's really hard to type. oooh. yeah, baby. now mike's singing "like a virgin." which is funny. because i heard he's a manwhore.

(M) Grace just went into the bathroom after I took a dum just to get rifd of the smell. Luckily sh'e shitfaced, so th eshit dioesn't hurt her.

(g) i just went into the bathroom to light a match. apparently, it stinks. bad. i don't know, though. because. i. am. drunk. no, really. i'm really drunk. did i say that already? mike keeps on sticking his feet in my face. i hate feet. no, seriously. i hate feet. they're fucking nasty. nasty. whoa. it got bright in here. steve turned on the light. my eyes hurt. mostly because mike wants to do the pony dance. please, turn the light back off. please. when i drink, i get some raunchy smelling piss. nina says her piss stinks, too. and it took forever to come out. this is a problem, methinks. oh, nina says she's talented, though. because she had to pee in the dark and she could still navigate our bathroom. quick note: our bathroom is tiny. tiny as fuck. dude, i don't trust mike. i'm really drunk. and mike's shady.

(g) this is grace. obviously. i'm going to dictate (huh huh, dick) what nina says. because i'll bet it's going to be funny. here we go.

i have nothing funny to say. have i ever told you my interrupting cow joke? knock, knock. interrupting cow. interrupting cow... MOOOO! do you wanna hear my un-PC joke? it's really bad. why did the boy fall off the swing? because he didn't have any arms. i'm wrong for telling you that. i'm sorry. what are we going to do when everyone gets here?

okay, this is grace again. i can't fucking type all this shit. i'm shit-faced. and they're talking to fucking fast for me. so, fuck it.l

n" nobodgt lidtens to me. I csn't tyopw U gaee mIdchel. he's man and mean;. fuvker. llIcnd't tpye / I suck. sorry/

(g) nina's fucked up. this is fucking great. i'm so glad they came. they're funny as HELL. no, seriously. i'm so glad they came. i ADORE them.... maybe i'm just drunk... nah....

(n) no, we're cool. we love you too.. i am hot inside. ithink that means I'm drunk.
wshit no one's here yet and I'm already plastered. fuck.shit mother fucker. what am i going to do now? i think i'll ask fir a nirbwer
gracw says micheal's making out with raw meat. i hopem not. dsmn this tsakes some effort. Nina out....



n+ U ccab;t tt0we. No bosdt



(g) what in the FUCK did nina just type????

(M) OK I'm back again. I was pretty drunk for a minute there, but now I'm ok. Steve's out grilling up some meat. It looks like carne asada but I'm assured that it's Korean. I walked over a mile just to get some cigarettes. Fine I'm addicted. But at least the walk sobered me up a bit. I need a few more beers. Grace is seriously in love with Nina. that's what I count one. I'm a basically unlikable person so I'm told, but Nina makes aal the friends with everyone. She's telling a story about getting hit on at new Years Eve. Grace says "w2e're gonna havef fun times tonight. They're gonna have sex tonight" I'm hopeful.

(g) i'm still fucked up and it's been 2 hours since my last drink. it's still hard to type. btw, i'm feeling amorous towards steve right now. *meeeeeeow!*

i like steve's cocktails...i think he could make agood living asd a bar tender,. grace and steve are3 the shit. i love them. this is nina typing onew handed. i love cal8i, az is boring. i can't wait to see what happens tomorrow. i'm dancing while i typ;e. t6his is nina by the way...

Okay, Big Bri is here - the party can now begin. Who is ready for an ass-kickin?

Anna is signing in... I tried Halo last night and have decided to spend the night drinking with Nina and Grace.... Pong is the only game I can play... But I will have fun watching and laughing at the show.... Nina is now smashed... She is picking rice out of her hair.

(g) nina is trying to explain to us the process in making chocolate liqueur truffles. i have no fucking idea what she's talking about. actually... i think she's just making shit up right now. i'm still drunk. and i ate LOTS of food. i did. i ate hot, hot beef. mmm... hot meat. HUH HUH. also, nina's truffles are so fucking good, i need to change my panties right now. mmmmm..... oh, and korean food makes your breath smell like A S S.

Mr. Nice Guy has arrived and is ready to inflict much pain. Does anyone else smell A S S?

(g) mr. nice guy is harold. he's not so nice. i don't get it. it's like an oxymoron. speaking of morons... :P hey... it's cooking hour with nina. i'm sure i should be paying more attention. but i can't concentrate right now. this is a problem. i know i'm going to end up calling her xmas day in a panic because my turkey is all deformed and talking to me... i'm sorry i'm hogging the blog. but, i just wanted to say that steve won the first round. he SCHOOLED them. mother fuckers! wooty woot! my hubby fucking KICKS ASS! hahaha.... mmm. licorice. it's so good.

(g) guess what, mother fuckers????? i just played me against 6 players. and mother fuckers. i won. not just won. i spanked them. i got 50 mother fucking kills. they had 8. muwahahaha. in all fairness, there were some negative scores. ... but, they weren't mine. 50 - 8. me against all of them. i'm the mother fucking master chief. they ain't got SHIT on me.

n: can't type too fucked upmtoo even play halo. had to comit sucide so grasce couyld win think I will sit out next round. figured out how to operate controler after the end of the round. betrayed my teammates for her. dead under susipision freom my temmeates. njot good. thinkibng i'm going to be paralled with bendict arnold antday now. must hide, request for sgots...sghit..damnsteve abd his tastey cock tails shit, can't spell. fordshit fuck. bye for now. damn cocktails...

(g) just in my defense, though... nina was really getting the hang of it at the end. also, even though i asked her to, she didn't always do it on purpose :P muwahahaha. no, really. if she wasn't so shitfaced, she could probably do some fucking damage. anyway, i'm drunk, but i can still type. it's kind of amazing. i can type, but it's not making any sense. i'm backspacing a lot. at least i can recognize when i'm typing fucked up. they're trying to make me play again. but i don't want to. my thumbs and trigger fingers hurt. god! but i love double-wielding weapons. you can do some serious shit to someone. it's... strangely comforting. :P hehehe.