Just Off Center

It's been a hectic couple of weeks. And the next month doesn't show any signs of slowing. This Wednesday, Nina and I will be flying back to Bumblefuck Indiana to visit my family for Thanksgiving on Wednesday. I'll try to keep posting, but the last thing I need is for a family member to find this URL. Thanksgiving in my household is a very Norman Rockwell experience. We all go to grandma's house, who has been working on the turkey and all the trimmings for days, and eat and talk, and just have a good time catching up. And being the outsider, black sheep, prodigal son who got out of Indiana, whenever we go home for the holiday, it's even more like a homecoming.

The reason that I celebrate Thanksgiving with my family and not Nina's is because Nina's mom "doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving". You see that's the day that we celebrate the genocide of all the Indian tribes throughout the nation. And since my lily-white mother-in-law is so very culturally aware (or out of things to rage against) she has opted to spend the holiday in silent introspection of her own guilt by associate with the evil white man. Fine, more turkey and Miracle Whip sandwiches on Wonder Bread for me.

Being the kind of guy who rarely misses an opportunity to point out the hypocrisies in others I thought now would be a good time to point out that, if you look closely enough, most of our national holidays have roots in either disinformation or outright evil acts.

CHRISTMAS - Certainly both my wife and her mothers' favorite holiday. It's when we all realize how well we are loved because of our new material possessions. But that's a different post. The holiday Christmas was established to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, the one true son of God Himself. However, when it was established most people already celebrated a sort of pagan harvest holiday in late December. Since Christ wasn't actually born until May 23rd (4 B.C.), a relatively benign date with no contradicting religious feasts, Christianity decided to declare the pagan Roman holiday a sacrilege and consequently mandate that the birth of Christ took place on December 25th, 0 A.D.. The materialism that has become the holiday X-mas is more than my morning stomach can handle. I'll move on.

HALLOWEEN - Pagan celebration all the way, too. You see, throughout all mankind's history, we've needed a reason to celebrate certain events, to celebrate our very humanity. And Hallmark hasn't always been there to tell us why we're so thankful. So in the millennia before the Industrial Revolution, it was the agricultural year that set the stage for holidays. Certain harvest and periods of change were marked for celebration. The time when people would celebrate the end of the harvest and mark the beginning of the death cycle in their crops was known as Samhain. It has been diluted and perverted over the recent centuries to reflect some celebration of ghosts and satanic worship. And now we throw candy at little brats dressed like the Hulk.

INDEPENDENCE DAY - God bless America, and I mean that. We've come a long long way from our beginnings. About 240 years ago, a group of slave-owning, land holding, British educated, middle aged, upper class white males got together to decide that they needed freedom from their oppressive king. After a failed attempt with the Continental Congress, they regrouped to draft up a new constitution. The rest is history. But if you research the era you'll realize that no matter how noble their intentions may have seemed, it was only themselves and their race, sex, tax bracket, and political similars who stood to benefit initially. Oh, and I forgot, they were the only ones allowed to vote. The fact that the hearts and minds of good men and women have been applied for the betterment of America doesn't change the fact that freedom from an oppressive king could be translated as "we all want to be kings too".


EASTER - Not a lot of non-Christians know that this is considered the holiest day of the year, blowing Christmas out of the water. This is the day that Jesus Christ fulfilled his prophecies by resurrecting from the dead, escaping his tomb, endowing his apostles with the Holy Spirit, and was accepted into Heaven at the right hand of God. I mean what a story, you should read it. You've got a trial, torture, betrayal, weeping parents, crucifixion, death, forgiveness, suicide, reanimation, super strength, water walking, bolts of flames filled with super powers, supreme transubstantiation, and the proof of every single fucking thing Christianity needed to claim truth was on their side. Christianity has sense sought to better humanity through the teaching of these lessons...and the occasional genocide, mass murder, torturing, false accusation, crusade, and assimilation and plagiarizing of every other religion's better parts. Somehow, we all eat dyed eggs and chocolate bunnies now. If it's between Christian doctrine and the Easter Bunny, I choose the rabbit.

I could go on and on, but it's Monday morning and I'm surprised that I've managed to form coherent sentences to this point. The point it that most any holiday we celebrate in this country can just as easily be seen as a celebration of wickedness and religious power struggling as tradition and accomplishment. Thanksgiving is a day when we all get together with our friends and family to honor each other and all of our blessings. I'm thankful for my wife. I'm thankful for my job and home, my electronic toys like my computer, stereo, PS2 and Game Cube, and everything else that I've been fortunate to have. And I'm thankful for all of you, my blogger buddies and readers who have found some entertainment and interest in my blog. I've been very fortunate, and I'm looking forward to sharing my blessings and my time with those people who have supported me. On Thursday I'll raise a glass and a drumstick to you. Happy turkey day.