Monday, July 19, 2004
It's a long fall to reality
Last night Nina was reading my blog as she often does when she started clicking on the few links I have deemed worthy of inclusion. One of these was a blog called "The Good Husband". I was sitting in the family room trying to enjoy the 1999 episode of "I Love the 90's" on VH1. Soon Nina was bellowing for me in a way that said, "I want to talk to you and you're coming to me". I don't mind the occasional interruption as Nina is often confused about computer and Internet matters. But this wasn't one of those times. Nina was pissed off at the page she'd just read. It was a post on a blog about some guy wanting to bang some chick without his wife finding out, blah blah blah. I normally have no interest in these kinds of matters, but the guy followed all of the rules, so I let him have a link on my homepage.
Well Nina was upset that I'd allow this unfaithful, sexually deviant, manipulative, lying prick to spit out his cheating ways so close to my own thoughts. Her thinking is that if I find this kind of shit entertaining, then I might just be involved in some sexual improprieties of my own as well. Figures. I hadn't had sex in nearly four weeks and just when things looked favorable she gets mad about my blog...again. I'll describe the again part some other time.
Well I fixed everything and explained how I don't even know this guy nor have I read his recent posts. She got the message and I've removed the link from my blog. But that wasn't the end of the story. Not one hour later I'm laying in bed and Nina's playing Tetris on her Super Nintendo next to me. She starts in on how the more she hangs around men, the more she hates them. I guess she's been privy to some of the truths of our male psyches that she hadn't previously known. And I thought to myself, "what a good thing." For a while there I was scared that Nina would spend her entire life believing that men are strong, confident, and truthful while women are manipulative, petty, and mean. Perhaps her disappointment is a blessing in that now she is closer to the understanding that all humanity is weak, manipulative, petty, and cruel. Fine by me. If I'm to spend the rest of my life with this woman I'd like her to see me as observant and wise instead of just a pessimist.
Initially, Nina was somewhat distraught, but I explained to her that no matter what expectations you set for humanity you will always be disappointed. I know that if you look for good, you'll find it. But you’ll also find the bad, and chances are excellent that the bad was laying dormant in th egood the whole time, just waiting to leap out. What I love is when good people do bad things and you have to come to the harsh realization that we're all bumbling, immoral, clueless humans on a spinning rock with no semblance of meaning or purpose. It's all over the news: murder, rape, arson, scams, war, thievery, political corruption, and mass deceit. I love it. If all human civilization were to converge into a single entity, that entity would spend its entire fucking life running into a brick wall, scratching her head in confusion, backing up, and running into it again.
Maybe Nina didn't feel better about my description of the universal evils in all people, but it's good for her. It's like our Mormon friend who acts righteous, yet is completely clueless of the flaws inherent to society. Naiveté does not equate to purity. In fact, it amounts to little more than two things: ignorance, and a guaranteed laugh when she realizes she's spent her life in the false belief that humans have some innate value. It's fantastic, like watching the collapse of a building, but a building made entirely of morals based on foundation of lies.
In an unexpected turn of events, I did get to fuck my wife that night. After she lost her game of Tetris at about 124 lines she turned off the TV, came to bed and went straight for the manhandle. I guess after this long, even she was getting horny beyond what her delicate little emotions could pacify. Well, we still have our own little game of "good and evil" but these days, the roles are shared more equally. After all , true companionship is rooted in equality. So before I'm done Nina's going to be one sick fuck, just like hubby.
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Well Nina was upset that I'd allow this unfaithful, sexually deviant, manipulative, lying prick to spit out his cheating ways so close to my own thoughts. Her thinking is that if I find this kind of shit entertaining, then I might just be involved in some sexual improprieties of my own as well. Figures. I hadn't had sex in nearly four weeks and just when things looked favorable she gets mad about my blog...again. I'll describe the again part some other time.
Well I fixed everything and explained how I don't even know this guy nor have I read his recent posts. She got the message and I've removed the link from my blog. But that wasn't the end of the story. Not one hour later I'm laying in bed and Nina's playing Tetris on her Super Nintendo next to me. She starts in on how the more she hangs around men, the more she hates them. I guess she's been privy to some of the truths of our male psyches that she hadn't previously known. And I thought to myself, "what a good thing." For a while there I was scared that Nina would spend her entire life believing that men are strong, confident, and truthful while women are manipulative, petty, and mean. Perhaps her disappointment is a blessing in that now she is closer to the understanding that all humanity is weak, manipulative, petty, and cruel. Fine by me. If I'm to spend the rest of my life with this woman I'd like her to see me as observant and wise instead of just a pessimist.
Initially, Nina was somewhat distraught, but I explained to her that no matter what expectations you set for humanity you will always be disappointed. I know that if you look for good, you'll find it. But you’ll also find the bad, and chances are excellent that the bad was laying dormant in th egood the whole time, just waiting to leap out. What I love is when good people do bad things and you have to come to the harsh realization that we're all bumbling, immoral, clueless humans on a spinning rock with no semblance of meaning or purpose. It's all over the news: murder, rape, arson, scams, war, thievery, political corruption, and mass deceit. I love it. If all human civilization were to converge into a single entity, that entity would spend its entire fucking life running into a brick wall, scratching her head in confusion, backing up, and running into it again.
Maybe Nina didn't feel better about my description of the universal evils in all people, but it's good for her. It's like our Mormon friend who acts righteous, yet is completely clueless of the flaws inherent to society. Naiveté does not equate to purity. In fact, it amounts to little more than two things: ignorance, and a guaranteed laugh when she realizes she's spent her life in the false belief that humans have some innate value. It's fantastic, like watching the collapse of a building, but a building made entirely of morals based on foundation of lies.
In an unexpected turn of events, I did get to fuck my wife that night. After she lost her game of Tetris at about 124 lines she turned off the TV, came to bed and went straight for the manhandle. I guess after this long, even she was getting horny beyond what her delicate little emotions could pacify. Well, we still have our own little game of "good and evil" but these days, the roles are shared more equally. After all , true companionship is rooted in equality. So before I'm done Nina's going to be one sick fuck, just like hubby.
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