Just Off Center

I received Schindler's List from Netflix the other day. As I was watching it occurred to me that the Jews seemed to be getting a pretty raw deal. I don't know if you've seen the movie before, but apparently God's Chosen weren't so well liked. I mean if you take the horrible things I wish I could do to most people I meet who piss me off, you'd know what happened to these folks. Don't get me wrong. I could never support the actions of Nazi Germany. But I am, in fact, a German American.

Ok, now I'm done pretending that I'd never heard of the Holocaust. But I must say that going to a Catholic school, I never really got the education on the Jews that I should have. In fact, it was Senior year, second semester when we finally got to learn about other world religions in Theology. Of course most of us had already done a bit of personal study on Buddhism, Islam, Judaism and the like. But in class, the Deacon spent as much time teaching us about Jews as he did warning us of the Moonies. One thing that I knew for sure though was that I was Roman Catholic and that was the only thing I could be. To try out anything else would be a blasphemy of such proportions as to warrant social exile.

So I thought I'd take a look at all the reasons that Jews are hated in this world to see if I should hate them too. There are a lot of Jews in this world. If there's a new group of people for me to hate, I'm all for it. So let's go with the six heavy hitters:

1. Jew possess too much wealth and power - Hey man, don't hate! If every single one of the stereotypes is true about Jews having money, being accountants and jewelers (Hey, how about that...jew...jeweler) that's no reason to hate on them. I mean if I had that kind of scratch I'd protect it and make sure that my kids grew up to protect it after I died. Just because you're a broke ass piece of Muslim or Aryan white trash doesn't mean that Jews are responsible for you being broke. If you can't add or negotiate a profitable barter, then you don't deserve wealth in a Capitalistic environment. Also, if the Jews have all the money, then it stands to reason they have a great deal of power and influence as well. Do I really want to side against that? Not if I hope to ever take some of that for myself.

   
   

2. Jews arrogantly claim that they are the chosen people - See, now this is why hate groups get all paranoid about shit. It's human nature to hold yourself or your group in higher esteem than others. For instance, when a woman looks at her husband and then sees a more attractive man walk by, she's going to remind herself of all the reasons she loves the man she's with, and rightly so. Every religion claims to be the chosen one. Here's one for you: "We believe in one holy, Catholic, and apostolic church". What does that tell you? And how do we know that God didn't choose the Jews? Hell he gave Jews he commandments and freed them from the Romans, right. I'd say that have as much of a claim on the chosen status as any other group.

   
   

3. Jews are a convenient group to single out and blame for our troubles - OK, now I have no argument for this one. I try to be a fairly reasonable man, but when logic fails I'll let the finger do the pointing as quickly as the next man. I mean look at them with their noses and their wool! There are dozens of subgroups of Jews, and some of those stand out in a crowd. When all else fails, blame the weird guy. Score one for the hatemongers.

   
   

4. Jews killed Jesus - Really? Shit I thought it was a couple Roman soldiers smacking in those nails. Maybe their yahmak...yamach...fucking Jew hats were hidden under their helmets. Romans sought him. Romans caught him. Romans tried and convicted him. And it was fucking Romans who tortured and hilled him. And let's not forget that Jesus (love ya buddy) was gonna get his ass handed to him in fine fatal fashion at some point. I mean it was a couple thousand years ago. Think of how stupid people were in the year 1800. Now multiply that by ten. And then throw in a whore kissing, leper touching, lecture giving, Jewish born guy who walks around and tells everyone that he is God incarnate. You've got yourself a recipe for fuckin' murder. Jesus might as well have been walking around downtown Bronx with a bullhorn chanting "Go Sox!"

   
   

5. Jews are different than us - Right back to the difference thing again huh? Have you looked in a mirror lately? About 95% of the world thinks you are one different looking mother fucker. Just because you've surrounded yourself with inbred clones of yourself doesn't mean that you belong to some majority of superiority. 'Nuff said on that. But let me take a moment to say this quick one. Why join a hate group at all? Are you such a weak, insignificant, ineffectual twerp that you can't survive under a bit of prejudice? So what if the Jews are stacking the odds against you. So what if the blacks are outnumbering you on your block. So what if your math class is filled with Indians. Hunker down and do your own thing. You can't go running for cover and safety in numbers every time you stand alone. Pussy.

   
   

6. Jews are an inferior race - I don't give a rats ass if Jews are a pestilence of the land. Look at what they've done. They have moved to new lands, usually because they were forced out of the old one, adapted, and prospered. They have naturally formed functioning and self-sufficient villages, towns, cities, and entire nations. They have taken every job and added new chapters to the texts. They have shown patience under a constant veil of hate and distrust. If that's inferior, then these uneducated hate group members must liken themselves to gods of some kind. Isn't that a sin?
   

Wow, the hate mongers just got their asses handed to them on a Kosher serving dish. And the same can be said for hatred across the board. Mexicans filling up your job market? Learn a better trade or prove yourself invaluable. Asians doing that whole not-telling-you-the-club-secrets thing again? What the fuck do you care? Blacks dominating sports and pop culture? Big deal, they can dance and play ball better than you. That just makes it easier when you go to the bookie. Bet against the white guy. I'll never say that we all need to get along. But if you're going to go so far as to hate a certain group of people, at least back it up with reasons that are either well-founded or dumbfoundingly baseless. That's always worked for me and my prejudice against women. Fucking vagies.