Just Off Center

I really do enjoy a little drama in my life. Drama is the excitement that comes from uncertainty. It's when you don't know which girl to choose and which to cut loose. It's when you get called to your boss's office and you have those fifteen seconds between your office and his to ponder your fate. It's really great shit. Think about all of those bad times in your life and you'll be struck with all of these moments of decisions that made you question your own fate.

But we all know somebody who lives their days and nights on the metaphoric edge. It's the ones who say that they are a free spirit or spontaneous. It's people who have been in twelve relationships in the past three years in which all have ended badly and yet none were their fault. These people are addicted to the drama. And I believe it to be an addiction not unlike any other. The problem with dramaholics is that it's only mildly destructive, and usually that damage is limited to the psyche and social standing. it doesn't destroy your life like drugs or alcohol. But it's more harmful than being addicted to Nascar or romance novels. It is the mosquito of addictions.

Case in point: my mother-in-law, Marcia. Now Marcia has been addicted to many things in her life; alcohol, men, cigarettes, etc. I tend to believe that dramaholics are typically people who have addictive personalities. Marcia was first mentioned in my retelling of the events that took place last christmas. Marcia has, I must admit, made bounds to improve herself in recent years. I'd say her progress is encouraging. Having said that, I'm going to skip over the drama of her last two girlfriends and move directly to the newest victim, Janice.

Janice is also a dramaholic for all appearances. And despite sounding like a bigot I think that the entire lesbian community is frought with unnecessary spectacle. Most any man around can account for the varying pychoses that women posess and display. But two women trying to work out a relationship with each other? Now things are bound to become complicated and dramatic to a ridiculous degree. And as we are all little more than containers of the experiences of our lives, logic shows that eventually we become overfilled and we must disperse our contents to those around us. This can be love or pain or any emotion we have that seems to fill our minds. When we are filled with joy we share it, true? Same thing for anger and frustration. Why then should the emotional componants of drama be any different.

Several months ago, Nina and I were having a great time driving around town on a Saturday morning, talking, laughing, planning. As Nina was driving, when the phone rang I answered it. Here follows the conversation:

Mike: Hello?
Stranger: Is Nina there?
Mike: Who is this?
Stranger: Can I talk to Nina?
Mike: No you can't, she's driving the car. Who is this?
Stranger: This is Janice, Marcia's friend.
Mike: Oh, hi Janice, I've heard a lot about you. Nina can't talk on the phone right now. Is there something that I can do for you?
Janice: I have to tell Nina why I broke her mother's heart.
Mike: Pardon?
Janice: Marcia told me to call Nina and explain why I broke her mother's heart.
Mike: OK then. Well I think I can speak for Nina on this one. I hereby release you of your obligation to explain anything to either of us. Furthermore, I want it to be very clear in both your heads that we want no part of any future drama between you two. If you two are fighting, don't call us. If you break up, cry to a different friend. We do care about you both, but we're the children here, not you. We're supposed to be able to come to you when we're having problems, not the other way around. Is all of this clear?
Janice: I understand completely.
Mike: Good, but thanks for calling anyway. Bye bye.

I don't enjoy being a giant dick to people, especially if I've never met them. But this shit had to be nipped in the bud. And it worked. We haven't received any subsequent calls of this sort.

But the plot thickens.

In about a week Marcia and Janice will be moving to Arizona. And not only to Arizona, but to Queen Creek. And not only to Queen Creek, but to my local community. And, you guessed it, only three doors down from us. They're renting the house nearby, so it's not a permanant thing. However, I'll be driving past their home twice every day and they'll be in sight of my house, which makes us a target for the drama dump.

While all this is going on, Nina is still having difficulties with Scott, the friend I mentioned in a previous post. Scott is behaving strangely. And with Nina, as with most any woman, strange behaviour is ripe for concern and scrutiny. It's amazing to me that nobody can believe that Nina and Scott could just be good friends, that they must be fucking each other. Is anyone else capable of just having a friend of the opposite sex? I have. Sure I've had the friends that created sexual tension, but that doesn't warrant the labeling of all intergender friendships as doomed.

The point here is that we all need to relax and stop seeking out the drama in our lives. There's plenty to keep us all in therapy for the rest of our lives as it is. If you always have drama in your life chances are that you are addicted to it's rush and the attention it gets you. You have to break this cycle, because it is damaging, not destructive, but damaging. It annoys thoswe around you and it ultimately leaves you alone and with no social skills except those that lead you to other dramaholics.