Wednesday, May 26, 2004
"Honey, I want to fuck other people."
Can you even imagine what would happen should a man who is dissatisfied with his current relationship express this level of honesty to his wife? We all know men who have cheated. Some of them treat it as a routine act. And yet the infidelity is amost always left to the wife to discover. Why is this? If my wife isn't having sex with me enough, I tell her. If it got bad enough that I thought of cheating on her I'd let her know.
Think about it if the roles were reversed. Let's say your wife is feeling a bit unappreciated. you've been working more hours than previously. You've been stressed and expecting more from her in the wife role, but not as a friend or lover. It happens. So now she's depressed and crying to her girlfriends. She starts leaving you little hints like pointing out the really cute guy on TV or standing up for a cheating friend or cheating woman in a news story. You're a man, so the hints are like Sanscrit.
Now things have reached the point of decision. You're oblivious to the fact that she's completely unsatisfied. She's horny and lonely. And chances are she's been introduced to some new guy who may or may not be married himself. He's nice enough, listens to her like you used to, and gives feedback. Now she knows she can do it. She still loves you, but her hormones are blocking logic like it does with a man. She's decided. She's wants to try the affair.
Isn't this something you'd kind of want to know about before it happens? How would you react? Would you yell at her for being a cheating slut (even though she hasn't cheated yet)? Would you demand to know who this asshole is so that you can cut his nuts off? Would you end the relationship? Would you start crying and smashing dinner plates? Or would you sit down in disbelief and finally open your eyes to the fact that your wife has been neglected and needs to me reinstituted as your number one priority.
I think that most of us would choose the last option despite how we might be tempted to do all the rest. Our egos might tell us that we'd get all bold and not put up with that kind of shit from our woman. But in the end, we love her right back and want to rekindle what was once the reason for going through all that stress.
So why are women so different. Sure their emotions can cuase them to act crazy, and maybe not take the news so well. But one of the great things about women is that they know just how insane their emotions make them. And after a while, most will stop and wonder what they did wrong to cause this situation. If she receives that pre-cheating warning from you, she'll probably be able to understand (within 72 hours or so) that you didn't have to tell her. And that will mean something. And sometimes, one act of consideration is all it takes to get to get her back in gear and earn her man's fidelity.
And if it doesn't work out that she's intelligent enough to figure out that she's as much to blame for your intended straying as you are, then you can dump her outright feeling proud of yourself for taking the honest road. Hell there'll even be that other woman there to rebound too. It seems to me that in the face of infidelity, honesty is the way to a happy ending. She'll either get serious about pleasing you, lose her mind and send you into the arms of another, or start talking threesome. You can't deny that the logic is a powerful one.
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Think about it if the roles were reversed. Let's say your wife is feeling a bit unappreciated. you've been working more hours than previously. You've been stressed and expecting more from her in the wife role, but not as a friend or lover. It happens. So now she's depressed and crying to her girlfriends. She starts leaving you little hints like pointing out the really cute guy on TV or standing up for a cheating friend or cheating woman in a news story. You're a man, so the hints are like Sanscrit.
Now things have reached the point of decision. You're oblivious to the fact that she's completely unsatisfied. She's horny and lonely. And chances are she's been introduced to some new guy who may or may not be married himself. He's nice enough, listens to her like you used to, and gives feedback. Now she knows she can do it. She still loves you, but her hormones are blocking logic like it does with a man. She's decided. She's wants to try the affair.
Isn't this something you'd kind of want to know about before it happens? How would you react? Would you yell at her for being a cheating slut (even though she hasn't cheated yet)? Would you demand to know who this asshole is so that you can cut his nuts off? Would you end the relationship? Would you start crying and smashing dinner plates? Or would you sit down in disbelief and finally open your eyes to the fact that your wife has been neglected and needs to me reinstituted as your number one priority.
I think that most of us would choose the last option despite how we might be tempted to do all the rest. Our egos might tell us that we'd get all bold and not put up with that kind of shit from our woman. But in the end, we love her right back and want to rekindle what was once the reason for going through all that stress.
So why are women so different. Sure their emotions can cuase them to act crazy, and maybe not take the news so well. But one of the great things about women is that they know just how insane their emotions make them. And after a while, most will stop and wonder what they did wrong to cause this situation. If she receives that pre-cheating warning from you, she'll probably be able to understand (within 72 hours or so) that you didn't have to tell her. And that will mean something. And sometimes, one act of consideration is all it takes to get to get her back in gear and earn her man's fidelity.
And if it doesn't work out that she's intelligent enough to figure out that she's as much to blame for your intended straying as you are, then you can dump her outright feeling proud of yourself for taking the honest road. Hell there'll even be that other woman there to rebound too. It seems to me that in the face of infidelity, honesty is the way to a happy ending. She'll either get serious about pleasing you, lose her mind and send you into the arms of another, or start talking threesome. You can't deny that the logic is a powerful one.
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