Just Off Center

Last night, in a somewhat altered state of mind, Nina and I got a call from an old friend. Because of the nature of the story I’ll just call him... Agamemnon. Aggie was a really good friend of our in our younger and more careless days. Nina has written about him before citing his real name. You can see where this is going.

Anyway, after making idle chitchat for a minute or two, he dove into the reason for his call. Apparantly, one of his aunts or someone had decided to do some googling of his name, and just happened upon Nina’s blog, wherein she described our buddy in all his flawed splendor. I’m pretty sure there were mentions of sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

Aggie has since… amended his ways. The truth is, most of the times that I’ve spoken to him lately, he’s made quite a fuss about convincing me that he’s a changed man. He tells me looks back on those days in our late teens and early twenties as his “selfish years”. In truth, I wish he’d stop saying that. He was my best friend for a period of time, and the thought that he’s forsaking all of those days so that he can walk around like some Promisekeeper at the pulpit is disconcerting. I hate that. I’m ten years wiser and smarter. I have a good job, a house, two cars, three cats, a skill, and a degree. But I’m still just Mike. I’m still basically the same guy I used to be. He seems to want to separate himself from that persona altogether.

He’s married now, and he has a kid. It’s such a cool little scene, and I like his wife too. And their daughter is so sweet. They’re all coming out next month and we’re going to kick back and spend some time together. I’m really looking forward to it. As much as I want to get to know him as he is today, I still want to see how different he is. Is he really so completely turned around? If so, I don’t mind saying that that really sucks. Selfish, irresponsible and horny. Sounds like every boy you knew at age twenty doesn’t it? So where’s the impetus for change, or rather such a drastic change? Is it his shame over his behavior, which he shouldn’t be feeling? Is it his wife who wants him to be more of a “real man” in his newfound adulthood? If so… well you can’t really do much when that happens but mourn your lost friend. It can’t be his daughter because he was saying these things well before her birth.

Anyway, back to the story. So his aunt told his mom, who read Nina’s posts and called him to ask about it. I was astounded. I thought, “oh shit, I can’t even remember what she wrote!” I passed the phone off to Nina, who apologized for the inconvenience and promised to remove the posts with mention of him. It’s actually a shame because those were two of the funniest, most memorable posts she’s ever written.

I can understand not wanting to be described as a drug user or a pervert on a public website. My interest is in the strict adherence to the idea that “That is who we were, not who we are”. What the fuck is the big deal about turning new leaves, and being all growed up. Is there some prize for the man who refuses his base desires and fronts as a man in control and laden with great responsibility? When he comes over, I want him to grab my last beer. I want him to finish off last night’s leftovers. I’m hoping he’ll run too fast in the house and break something. I just want him to show me that he’s not that guy who went and changed so much that we no longer have anything in common.

# posted by Mike @ 8:51 AM