Just Off Center

Ok, so what is up with all the fucking lesbian overtones in blogland lately? I swear this once pure forum for our little cliques to express our thoughts and feelings is turning into a lesbian chatroom. I figure it’ll be about six months before one of these girls starts charging for access to her website.

Don’t misunderstand, I dig girl on girl flirtation as much as the next guy (who knows that they’d just be posturing until a real dick showed up), but I have to admit that it’s becoming more rampant with every passing day. All I see are girls posting pics of their clothes or some new shoes and every girl out there leaves comments like “damn, you’re a fucking hottie *rowr*!” Now, this is fun and all but then within the hour the comment gets a response along the lines of “name the place and I’m yours *double rowr*!” And the funniest part is that whenever one of you girls does something sexy, there are inevitably all these great responses from the men. But you don’t seem to even notice. It looks something like this:

Damn, I think I’m in love!
Buddy_Ravel | Homepage | 06.20.05 – 9:53 am | #

Holy hell, you are fucking SMOKIN’ hot. Thanks for the material. If you’re ever in the Massapequa area, look me up! : P
JoeSchmoe | Homepage | 06.20.05 – 9:58 am | #

*Rowr* I think I need to run to the ladies room for a minute.
Shellypie | Homepage | 06.20.05 – 10:02 am | #

B: Aw thanks, you’re so cute :P

J: Hehehe…don’t forget the Jergens :P

S: Ooh baby, that’s hot. You’re going to waste all the red hot passion on little ol’ me? Damn, now I’m REALLY glad I posted this. I’ll be at the Days Inn room 142 off the 101 exit 28 tonight at midnight. Do you like lace or leather. *double rowr* :D
Desperate_Housewife | Homepage | 06.20.05 – 10:03 am | #

So what’s up, ladies? Are you looking to hook up with each other or not? Seriously I’m confused. Most of you seem to have husbands or boyfriends. Are you really checking each other out or is this just one of those things you do to make sure that your girlfriends feel sexy? I mean I know this one girl who’s 400 pounds if she’s an ounce. When she said that she was fat, Nina remarked “oh no you’re not that bad.” What the fuck was she talking about? I mean the fucking passenger side of my car was sagging. So is this just your way of commending each other on being brave enough to publish pics of each other or are you really thinking about gettin’ some stinky on your pinky?

No it can’t be as simple as affirmation, because I’ve seen how you interact in real life. Some of you anyway. And when the hell did it become so fucking cool to be a lesbian anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t give a fuck if you’re gay, lesbian, bi, tranny, etc… but when did it become so especially hip for a girl to get busy with another girl? Hell it’s almost at the point where a girl would thry her hand at eating pussy just for the street cred. I mean you’re all obviously not lesbians since most of you have a large, hairy arm to hang from when you go out. So what’s the deal? I’m utterly flummoxed.

And what if the roles were reversed, how sexy would that be? Last week I was riding in the back seat of a friend’s car with Sam. As a joke he put his hand on my thigh. I looked down at his hand then up at him and said, “Don’t let your hands make a promise your ass can’t keep”. We chortled like men and that was the end of it. But what if we weren’t kidding around or if we played like that all the time. Would you women think that it was hot? I mean not that Sam really wanted me. But isn’t it just so cute when we act fucking gay? Seriously, when did feigning an interest in licking your friend’s clit become the norm for cool female relational behavior? Well whatever the reason, I’m not going to encourage you to stop. Because you know in my mind nothing says “buddies” like sharing a double-ender.

# posted by Mike @ 1:27 PM