Just Off Center

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. I’ve been busier than a two-headed whore these past few weeks. However, the fact that I haven’t had time to write any posts shouldn’t suggest that nothing has been going on. My life has been filled with all of the little things and big things that it usually sees.

Sam is now staying at my house indefinitely. He’s a lot of fun and so far has proven to be very respectful of my house and my things. He always offers to get out of my chair when I get home, stops playing the Gamecube if I want to watch TV, and offers me a cigarette at least once every day. I’m glad that Nina has a friend to talk to while I’m gone at work. Since I work so far away I only get to spend about 12 hours at home, most of those asleep. And just yesterday he happened across a fellow former Hoosier who basically offered him an electrician’s job in the area.

Nina quit her paper route last night. Or rather, she fulfilled her notice last night. So that’s it for her and I’m thrilled. Nina is a very strange animal when it comes to her work. Take this paper route as a perfect example. Once Nina realized that she was going to have to run a paper route every night, she dove in as she always does…completely. From that point on, she becomes all about her work. She must do her job perfectly. She must complete her route on time or early every day. She must make sure that every paper has every insert. The car must be loaded with papers in a configuration that matches her specifications. Every detail of the job is set in her mind and no deviations or mistakes will be tolerated.

Granted, this makes her terribly efficient and productive. But it also makes her, at times, damn near intolerable. It’s a fucking paper route. Admittedly, I’m not the most stringent of perfectionists. But if it were my route, I wouldn’t give a rat fuck if some anal shithead were mad that the neighbor’s dog was stealing the paper and he was blaming me for it. She’s received only a handful of customer complaints since she started the route. Whenever she would get one, she immediately became horribly offended at the audacity of the customer to suggest that Nina would ever make any mistake in her work. And she would let it irritate her for weeks. At any rate, now it’s over. I’m looking for a part-time second job to cover her portion of the income. (Insert disclaimer where I tell everyone that it was all my idea that she quit the route here) And I don’t mind one bit. I don’t care if I’m bringing shopping carts back up to the store. As long as Nina is done with this goddamned fucking paper route.

I finally pulled my supervisor aside to tell him what a lazy fuck my coworker is. I’ve just had enough of him showing up late every fucking day, disappearing for hours, sitting on his ass instead of working, making my whole site look bad through his non-productivity, and blaming anyone and everyone but himself. At first I was just going to point out the lateness and the lack of effort. But then everything just started spilling out. I was ratting him out on every shitty aspect of his job and personality. By the time I was done I had painted a picture of him that was so bad I didn’t think he’d last another week. Ever since then, my supervisor has been spending a lot more time in my office watching us. I’m doing my job and Carl spends most of his time arguing with my boss about why he’s unable to do his job (that many before him, my boss included, were able to do just fine). All I can do is wait and pray for a transfer.

I haven’t gotten laid in a while. I wasn’t going to write anything sex-related in this post, since it was meant to be all about updating everyone on the happenings since I got so busy. But while I was thinking of things to write about it occurred to me that I haven’t had any sex in what seems like quite a while. I could be wrong about that. Maybe it was two weeks ago. I don’t know, but it feels like it’s been a few years. I suppose with Sam around, and all that’s been going on with work and Nina’s route, and us arguing more frequently about stupid bullshit, we’ve both just forgotten about fucking each other. This is very strange, because no matter how busy I am I never forget about being hot for my wife. Hmm. Maybe it’s nothing. But maybe I’m starting to lose some portion of my libido. Like most relationships, it used to be that I wanted about fifteen times more sex than Nina wanted, or was even willing to submit to. But for some reason, I just haven’t even thought about laying pipe for a while. Maybe this is a good thing. If I want less sex, I’ll be less frequently disappointed when I get turned down. Nah, I’m pretty sure I like being a pervy hornball.

About four weeks ago Nina and I were hanging out at our neighbors’ house just talking and drinking and such. The topic of movies came up as it usually does as Derek and I are both movie aficionados. Then one of the women had the great idea of putting together a “movie night” where we all get together one the weekend and each of us takes a turn showing the group a movie that is important or beloved in some way. The film is preceded by a brief narrative about why the movie is so special to them and what they hope the group enjoys about it. Then the title is announced and the film can begin. Ever the culinary artist, Nina came up with an idea to augment our enjoyment of movie night. Whoever is hosting that night’s selection will not only give a speech before it begins, but will also prepare a meal for the group themed to follow that of the film. Buffy showed us Pretty Woman and we had Champagne and fresh strawberries. Vivian and Edward enjoyed this treat the first night before she blew him on the couch. Nina showed us Love Actually and we had chicken kabobs, which was supposed to be the little drummer boy’s favorite meal, though he refused to eat while he was practicing for the big concert. Tomorrow is Derek’s turn. I have selected my movie, but I’m still not sure what to make. If anyone is in the Queen Creek area, feel free to drop by.

1,926 square feet is a decent sized living space. Nina and I are very happy with our home. But when it comes time to clean the house up and get it ready for company, it seems to be about twice that size. We have some friends coming to stay with us this weekend so we’re spending the week make the house look like we have a live-in maid who keeps us in perfect tidiness at all times. You know the drill. So we’re going from room to room, picking up, straightening, dusting, vacuuming, mopping and anything else that makes the house sparkly and ready to impress. I can’t say that I can’t think of more entertaining ways to spend my off hours. But I understand the need for it. I don’t personally go into a friend’s house and start wondering how much time they spent prepping it for my arrival. But then the female is a different animal, now isn’t it.

Well, that’s just a sampling of what’s been going on in the past two weeks. I could go on for hours, but I can’t stand reading other peoples’ blog posts that are like 3,000 word essays. If I don’t talk to any of you soon, I miss you and hope you have a lovely weekend.