Just Off Center

I'm starting to believe that the only true test of maturity is one's ability to abstain from saying the things they want to say in the face of impending disapproval. I'm not talking about telling somebody "please stop raping my wife" here. I mean things like, "put that nasty ass cigar out you inconsiderate fuck!" not that anybody's smoking cigars in my presence, but I just wanted to offer up an example. We just seem to be seen as immature and bitchy when we don't just tolerate the stupidity and rudeness of others.

A good example is phrase "I was so mad I wanted to cry". You don't hear men spouting this one out. And women are, despite all their bitchiness, still considered the more sophisticated and mature of our race. It just seems to me that when a person denies the impulse to vocalize their base reactions to situations that upset them, that person is trying to be "mature" or at least not "be a bitch".

After our fight the other day, Nina and I made up and I decided to really really try to be a good boy to her. These things included cleaning up the dishes when she makes dinner, scooping the litter box more frequently than weekly, and not pressure her to get freaky when she doesn't want to or her back is fucking with her. The first two are easy enough. But the third has proven to be more difficult.

I'm something of a major hornball. Nina's post about us fucking all the time when we met is absolutely true and her comment about how I'm always the one who suggests something new is pretty accurate as well. Well most people would think that as we get older and more secure in our relationships that it's natural for both people to let their libido drop a couple notches. In my case the opposite has proven true. I want to get nasty every day, several times a day, and if I can think of some new way to do it, I'm totally there. I even applied at Fascination's Superstore just for the discount. Bastards still haven't called me back yet.

But to get to the point, Nina and I have been cuddling in bed these past few days. We'll turn on the tube and she'll snuggle up on my shoulder with the top of her head in my face. I like that because her hair smells nice. That reminds me, you know that list of things that women say the "perfect man" would do? Like three of them are about hair. one of them is about smelling a girl's hair. Look, I like the scent, it's not a fucking gesture of how madly in love I am. Anyway, she lays there just rocking gently as we watch either the news or one of her goddamned forensic shows. She places her arm over me with her hand on my chest. It's sweet.

I know she doesn't want to have sex. I know that her back hurts. Hell, I'm having a great time just snuggling. But then there's that other guy in my head.

"OK, now grab my cock and jerk me off. C'mon grab it. It's right there damn it! Hell I even took off my covers for you. Come on you fucking tease, my dick is right fucking there. Look at it, just laying there smiling at you, waiting for you. Grabmycockgrabmycockgrabmycock..."

What the hell is wrong with us guys? I swear this horny little voice sticks it's horny little nose into every situation. If there were a giant invasion of America and Nina and I were separated for a year by it and had to fight our way back to each other, when we first locked eyes and embraced each other bawling at our fated reunion that voice would still be there saying "finally, now I can get a blowjob again." Am I alone in this or are all guys like this? I tend to think that while I may be a bit obsessed with fucking my wife, most if not all guys are pervy bastards to some degree.

What I love most is how women think that when they go out looking all cute and sexy that guys are looking at them and thinking "Damn she looks good. I'd love to hit that!" You see the truth is along those lines, but a tad more disturbing. What women may not realize is that, unlike women, most men don't have such a well coordinated inner monologue. Most of us see that girl and immediately picture her holding on to the side of the dumpster behind the bar while they ram her in the ass while grunting incoherently. In fact, if women could somehow truly tap into our minds to watch our thoughts like a tv show I think they'd all wear baggy sweats wherever they go. And the worst part is that this isn't even a forced thought. It's a kneejerk reaction. All guys do it to some degree, with almost every even halfway attractive woman they see. Women don't want to hear that shit, but it's true and we can't help it.

Yes, men are scum. Oh well, too bad for you. Just on occasion when your snuggling with us grab our cocks and everything will be fine.